Letting Go is Not Easy

Letting Go is not Easy.. Especially when you love the person too much, even you want him too much but if you feel that He doesn't want it anymore. What will you do? Will you beg for another chance? What if he did not give it to you. 

Will you let go even it break your heart? 

Love is a reciprocal feeling. It should be a 1+1=2. Love should means happiness, not only for one person but for both of you. 

No one is worth begging for

"Never beg for love. Never beg someone to love you back or be with you when you want to. Never beg for someone’s time, commitment, affection and attention. Never beg someone to stay with you when you need him the most. Because in the first place, if he loves you that much, he won’t leave you and let go of your hand. He will never let you beg for his presence and love because he will give it to you with open arms. Don’t beg, it’s demeaning and degrading. Remember, if you have to beg, he’s not worth it. No one is worth begging for."
— E.J. Cenita

An Open Letter to the Man whom He never knew that he was hurting me ...

10/13/16

Dear You,

Today, I started to question myself, do you really love me ? or I am just being blind of the fact that it is only a one way relationship?

This made me cry, why I am suffering this kind of feelings.
I always believe that you are God's gift and so Im doing everything to make our relationship work. Whatever God has gave me I have to love it and take care of it and that is why Im doing every thing to keep this. But I am very hurt. Its so hard seeing you online but you are not talking to me. Seeing you being online but doesnt bother to say 'Hi! are you still alive?'

I remember what my friend told me before, Every people has the same feeling when they are inlove. And every inlove will do something romantic. Why I cant feel it. For how much I am so excited to talk to you, it feels like  you are not. Do you know how hurt it was? Do you know how hurt it was that it feels like you just forcing yourself to do that.How can I say that? then why you have time to talk with others? Im not saying about girls, because as far as I know you,  You are not the type of womanizer.But whoever you are talking with makes me so jealous thinking that you can give time with them but not with me!

I fight for our love on time that we have no communication, I went to different churches, pilgrimage, novenas, and continue  sending you  messages even if you are not answering. My friends doesnt support me with it, instead telling me that it’s stupidity, I fight for our love alone. Yes , all alone , because  you are not there to support me, you kept yourself on a shell and doesn’t want to talk to me, Instead of assuring me that everything will be ok, just be patient, blab la bla, but you were not.  My friends were telling me that you are so coward and I dont deserve to have that someone who cannot fight for me. But, I dont listen to them, I love you and I always believe the you are a God’s gift to me.

Do you still remember the time, when I called you after Mama told me to call again because you have something to tell me, for so many times, i dialed and you never answer, you dont even send me a message to say that you are not ready to talk yet. I feel like I was stabbing 3 times in my heart, I feel like a trash and only forcing myself to you.  I feel so stupid and that was the saddest part of my life.I feel so worthless.

You hurt me for so many times which you never knew that you were hurting me. How ironic it was to hurt the person you truly love. I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. You are the reason and I should support you. Maybe you are in a bad situation than mine. My feelings are just my feelings, well im learning to be tough.

I thought it’s an answered prayer, yeah it is, And thanks Lord, St Jude, you never left me into that situation, but why suddenly the sparks is not there, in me yes, but in you I can’t feel it anymore. You are not excited to see me, not excited to talk to me. You are not excited with me anymore. What’s worst is, I feel that you are looking for a bad thing in me, maybe to make yourself believe that I am not the girl for you, and that you don’t deserve me.  But then, you cannot find anything and instead there is always a reason for you to believe that I am the girl that you deserve to be. That everything that you are throwing to me was all false and no enough reason to hate me. Yes that is what I’m feeling right now, how this happen? Why suddenly you forget everything about us. Why are you throwing our love? I always pray to God to remind you how great our love is. How happy we were before, how we miss each other. Life is to short to waste Dear, we never know what will happen tomorrow. I might die, and I won’t be able to see your love again. This is very lonely. . Time is very precious baby, please don’t waste it. 

"Pick up the nearest book to you.Turn to page 45. The first sentence explain you love life."

What a nice quote for the day.  It may seem to be very simple but it marks my heart. I just tried it, out of no where and the book that is closest to me was the Daily bread, doesn't have pages but it has dates.  I've subtracted 31 ( January) from 45 and resulted to 14. So my number 45 is Feb 14. Wow! a very significant number/date. Its our date, my bf date of visiting me and the date where we made our love story official.

I was surprised for what I seen. SECOND BEST. Oh my goshhhhh. 100% yes. I am 100% second best to him. No hard feelings, even for so many days I been hurting, not because of being the second best to his Mom ( thats understandable) but then ignoring me is not 😢 Thats different tune I guess.


Well today, I know Im always the best in God. because he see Us fairly. And I love you guy 😘😘😘

SOMETIMES

Sometimes, its hard to fall in love. It maybe happy at the beginning but soon different hindrances arise.


Sometimes, giving up is coming your way but Love Fights. Faith and Perseverance is always there. It maybe painful, but for love everything  is possible.


Sometimes, putting a period in everything helps. But how? would you like to end something which you know you always want it to be unending?

Sometimes, pretending helps a bit. But how long? Can we just shout out loud and voice out how hurt we are ? Can we just Cry out loud and tell the world whats inside our heart? How can you do it, when you been pretending yourself all along that you are tough? How can you cry and shout out loud if you even pretend to yourself that you are tough enough to handle everything?  How can you do it if even yourself doesn't believe you anymore.  How?

Sometimes, you want to call a friend to tell them how much you are hurting. But how can you do it, if all your friends doesn't favor of want you want to do. How can you tell them that deep inside you, you are hurting and wanting someone to console you  of the things you want to hear?

Sometimes, you just wish you are dreaming. that after you woke up.Everything is the same.